The Poop Will Set You Free

Thursday came and went. Butt I didn’t. No gas no turds. Nothing. Friday morning came. On their rounds, the doctors just looked at me with raised eyebrows and said, “well?” I said, “nothing”. They shook their heads and moved on. Deb sat with me most of the day. Nothing. Deb left for the hotel and Annie came by after work. I ate a lousy dinner right before she got there. Annie and I talked for a few minutes and I felt a gurgle. I felt a twinge. I oh, so carefully stood up and headed to the bathroom. I came out doing the crappy dance because I had just pooped!! I was free!!! I didn’t just fart, I was an overachiever! (That was around 6pm, about 10 minutes after two of the young doctors stopped in and raised their eyebrows once again in question.) Annie was my caca muse.
I called Deb and of course, she had just fought obnoxious traffic and had finally arrived at the hotel just as I called her. She got back in the truck and came back to the hospital to get me. I made my escape around 8:30pm Friday night.We spent Friday night and half of Saturday night at the hotel in Ann Arbor.
We came home in the middle of the night because the alarm company called and left a message on my cell phone at 1am saying that they called the police because our alarm had sounded and no one was answering the phone. We got home around 3 or 3:30 am and everything was fine, except our phone and internet connection was messed up. And our front door knob was loose, like someone had jiggled it hard enough to make it loose.
So, last night I locked the deadbolt in addition to the regular lock and now that won't unlock. I'm kind of trapped here, except to go into the backyard and around through the gate and out. We will be calling a locksmith to get it all looked at.
I am still moving slowly. I am still wearing the abdominal binder much of the time. I'm alternating between Ibuprofen and narcotics for pain relief. I keep forgetting to take them before the pain gets really bad. Part of the reason is that sometimes the pain level is fine for 6-10 hours, then all of a sudden, it jumps up. (Or, maybe it inches up and I don't notice it until it is bad, I'm not sure.) I still can't figure out why Vicadin (or Narco) is a big street drug. It doesn't make me high in the least. It barely even makes me tired. Nothing. I do notice that I am in somewhat less pain 30-40 minutes after taking it, but that is it. Having said that, I still probably take it too far and few between because I am paranoid about becoming addicted to it.
Even though Deb does most of the housework, I am getting fidgety because I'm supposed to limit my activity very strictly for 6 weeks after my surgery (5 weeks now) and I can't even take the trash out to the garage. It hurts to bend over, and I don't want to pop the stitches, so if I drop something or if there is something on the floor that needs to be put away, it is hard (or sometimes not feasible) for me to take care of it. I feel lazy.